How to Pray for a Loved One Who Doesn't Know Jesus

Few prayers are prayed more often — or with more tears — than prayers for a parent, child, spouse, sibling, or friend who does not yet know Jesus. If that is you, you are not alone, and your prayers are not wasted.

Start with God's heart for them

You do not have to persuade God to care about the person you love. He cares more than you do. Scripture says God "desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth" (1 Timothy 2:4, WEB), and that He is patient, "not wishing that anyone should perish, but that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9, WEB). You are praying in line with what God already wants.

Seven things to pray

1. That God would draw them. Jesus said, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him" (John 6:44, WEB). Ask the Father to draw them to Himself.
2. That their eyes would be opened. Paul describes unbelief as minds blinded "that the light of the Good News of the glory of Christ... should not dawn on them" (2 Corinthians 4:4, WEB). Pray for that light to dawn.
3. That their heart would soften toward God, toward the Bible, and toward Christians.
4. That God would send others. Pray for believers to cross their path — a co-worker, a neighbour, someone on the street — who can say what they would not hear from you.
5. For open doors for you. Paul asked people to pray "that God may open to us a door for the word" (Colossians 4:3, WEB). Ask for natural, unforced moments.
6. For their specific needs. Health, work, relationships, grief. God often meets people in the middle of real life.
7. For yourself. For patience, love without pressure, and a life that makes Jesus attractive.

Make it a rhythm

• Pray by name, daily. Put them on a short list you see every day.
• Pray Scripture. Turn the verses above into prayers in your own words.
• Pray with others. Ask a few believers to pray with you. Send us a prayer request and we will pray for them by name.
• Map your circle. Oikos Map helps you list the people around you and pray for them faithfully — read who is in your oikos.

When nothing seems to change

Jesus told a parable about a widow who kept coming back, and introduced it this way: "they must always pray, and not give up" (Luke 18:1, WEB). Many people come to faith after years of someone else's quiet prayers. You may not see what God is doing beneath the surface. Keep praying, keep hoping, and ask God to hold onto your heart while you wait.

Love them while you pray

Your prayers and your life work together. Be present. Keep your promises. Apologise when you get it wrong. Celebrate what is good in their life. When a door opens, share your story simply — here is how to share your testimony in three minutes and a gentle seven-day plan for sharing Jesus with a friend.

And when they are ready, our Know Jesus page walks anyone through how to respond to Jesus — and how to lead someone to Jesus will help you walk with them in that moment.